Jokes to Break the Ice

SmileyWhen traveling—especially alone – it’s important to have a few go-to lines to break the ice.

I particularly like to have a couple of jokes up my sleeve: one dirty and one clean.

I’m going to try these two out on my next trip abroad:

(slightly) Dirty Joke: 

A man and a woman were getting hot and heavy. The man takes off his socks and the woman notices that his toes are deformed and curled under.

She asks: “What happened?”

The man answers: “I had toe-lio as a child.”

The man next takes off his pants and his knees are shriveled up.

The woman again asks: “What happened?”

The man answers: “I had knee-monia as a child.”

The man moves to take off his underwear – but the woman stops him: “Please don’t tell me you had small cox…”

Clean Joke: 

A plane is on its way to Toronto, when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Toronto and I’m staying right here.”

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won’t move back to her seat.

The pilot says, “You say she is a blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.”

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry.” and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

 ”I told her, “First class isn’t going to Toronto.”

 

Care to share your best joke? C’mon – we can all use a chuckle to start off the week!

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This entry was posted on Monday, August 30th, 2010 and is filed under On the Road.

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